mind-blowing . . .

i had the most amazing date of my life this weekend.

today i'm thankful for . . . wonderful dates involving great food & even better company!

a decade-long dream comes true . . .

as anyone who knows me or has read my blog knows, this year has been one of transformation and reclamation for me. i've reconnected with old friends, made new ones, re-evaluated my priorities and made some fairly major changes in my life (new house, new car, new wardrobe, new attitude) and today another dream came true.

for as long as i can remember i have wanted a bike. not just any bike though. a very specific bike with a very specific paint job. i found said bike a few days ago on craigslist (in my price range even!). today, my big bro, z, went out with me to test drive it and drive it back should i decide to buy it. it's been 13 years since i've driven a bike (ridden on plenty in that time) so i no longer have my motorcycle license. plus he's the most knowledgeable bike guy i know. i trust his opinion and never would buy a bike without his endorsement. he gave me the thumbs up so i am now the proud owner of this beautiful piece of machinery.

it's a 1997 honda shadow 600 vlx deluxe. has 11,500 original miles on it. brand new leather saddle bags and the paint job is impeccable. this thing looks like it just drove off the showroom floor yesterday not 10 yrs ago! i talked the guy down $100 and he threw in a really nice helmet. z drove it back here and gave it the thumbs up which is impressive because he's not really a *cruiser* bike kinda guy. he rides a beautiful ktm 900 adventure bike.

i'm looking forward to the private lessons he's gonna give me to help me get my permit. then i'll go take a motorcycle class so i can feel really comfy on it. the bike is the perfect size for me and i can sit on it with both feet flat on the ground and my knees bent. the handlebars and pegs are in the right spot as well. it feels like the most natural thing in the world.

i'm so excited i can barely contain myself . . .

so today i'm thankful for . . . the universe dropping my dream bike in my lap and a good friend to share the experience with.

desire . . .

so torturous and so fun. just can't stop smiling today.

so today i'm thankful for . . . good company and hungry kisses

continued minimal sleep . . .

so i had an amazing weekend . . . thursday after work a group of folks from work got together to celebrate a coworker's upcoming nuptuals. we had a great time at saucebox and then z and i hung out in the backyard for one more beer before he headed home. mac called later that evening and we had another great conversation. friday brought another after-work drinking engagement with the *ladies*. we are a crew of 8 that used to work together (some of us still do) and we try to get together regularly to catch back up. i managed to down 4 ginger martinis at silk before heading off to meet sweets, dk, and z for a design competition called cut & paste at the wonder ballroom. the design was amazing ... essentially, it was 15 minute rounds where the designers were working on machines that were being projected up on big screens so everyone in the venue could see their every move. was a very cool event. after some late night snacks at toro bravo, z & dk dropped me off around midnight.

saturday i had coffee plans with a friend (after 4 hrs of sleep) and then helped a friend move into her new place. after watching the dawgs win in overtime, i picked mac up at around 945p to go out. we met up with some friends of hers at a club then headed to holocene for double down. star was still there so i got to have one good last dance with her before she left. was fun. mac and i danced a bit and then sat and watched the crowd for a bit. had a nice time and headed home around 2a.

sunday i had coffee with star and got to say good-bye (she left on monday am). ended up helping my friend move more stuff and then spent a few hours in my studio drawing the plans for the revised outdoor cabinet. am starting to doubt that i'll be able to finish this thing before the rains come but i'm going to keep plugging away. problem is that i keep getting distracted from the task at hand.

so today i'm thankful for . . . new adventures and where they might take us

recovering . . .

so it's been quiet on the wires for the last 9 days because it's been absolutely crazy busy. my family arrived on fri, 9.14 in a whirlwind. they arrived 2 hours earlier than i expected them so, needless to say, i wasn't done cleaning & getting the house ready. i ended up meeting them at the hotel and then going to lunch. we ended up at chez jose for dinner and then i headed to the goodfoot for star's going away gathering. good music, good friends, good dancing. i got home around 1a after getting all that nervous energy out from being with the family. was definitely a good time.

saturday morning started with a trip to the farmer's market to shop for goodies for that afternoon's bbq at my house so the *fam* could meet the *friends*. the fam was amazed at the produce & flowers available at the market but were a bit stunned by the prices. that way of shopping is just so foreign to them. we got back to the house and my stepdad and grandpa wanted to watch the gator game so we turned that on for them and my mom, grandma, and i headed out the alberta street fair for a bit. my friend, jg, was going to be in the parade with the samba bateria he plays with. they're called the lions of batucada and they're so much fun! we popped into the mash tun to say hi to kim & then headed back to the house. the bbq was a huge success. had a great turnout. thanks to star, jenmc (and her lovely lady), lara & todd, sweets, z & dk, jg & osha, ryan, and angell for coming over to show the family some love.

after the folks went home, star and i headed to the florida room for anunce's 40th blowout. was lovely to help her celebrate the big occasion. i got home around 230a after helping mfp clean up and run some folks back to the house. had a lovely breakfast with star on sunday am before i met up with the folks do go down to the willamette valley for some wine tasting. had a nice afternoon which included stops at sokol blosser, argyle, ponzi and torii mor. stopped for lunch at the dundee bistro and drank so more. we headed back to the house and cooked dinner and just hung out.

on monday, we made the trek out to the gorge to see multnomah falls and vista house. made a stop through edgefield on the way back for more wine tasting and a snack. since tuesday was my mom & stepdad's birthday (yes, they share a bday), i made reservations at higgins for a nice dinner. was a great meal!

tuesday was a slow day with visits to my office so the folks could see it and then went over to the rogue public house for some beer tasting. grandma was coming down with a cold and wasn't feeling well so we just headed back to the house. anunce and mfp came by to meet the folks. was a really nice visit with them. was nice to hang out and just spend time together. remarkably, there was no tension! i think that's a first.

wednesday was back to work for a full day of meetings & catching up. i had plans last night to meet up with mac, a very cool woman i met a few weeks ago at pop tart. she's an amazing dancer and a hoot to hang out with. we can just talk for hours! it's so nice. we had dinner at crush and then headed to holocene to see some djs. switch, diplo and dj beyonda were spinning. the music was awesome. despite being a school night, we danced till 2a.

today i'm thankful for . . . being able to function on 3 hrs of sleep.

more soon . . .

a dark day . . .

six years ago today the world changed for a lot of us. even if you weren't in one of the immediate places, i'm sure you were affected somehow – you knew someone there, you were touched by the news, it made you political, you're by default still affected somehow, we all are.

for me, it was a personal day. i was still living in nyc (actually it was what finally pushed me to be ready to leave) and was riding the subway that morning as the planes hit everywhere. i had just gone under the wtc when they hit the towers. i had no idea what was happening at the time. just frustrated that my commute was taking so damn long. when i finally reached the office, i found out what had happened. i ran to my desk to call my ex. thankfully she had already left me a message that she was still at home and would see me there whenever i could get there. her office was 3 blocks south of wtc so needless to say i was relieved to here that she was safely back in brooklyn and not down on wall street. i was fortunate enough to have a place in the city to hang out until they opened the subways back up and i could get home. i think my most vivid memory of that day is how beautiful of a day it was and how silent it became at the drop of a hat. i remember walking down 5th avenue (in the middle of the street, mind you, not on the sidewalk) in total silence. there were no cars, no cabs, just masses of people walking. i remember looking up and just staring at the skyline because i couldn't get my bearings. i knew i was walking south but without the towers as the beacon that they were it was very odd. it was such a gorgeous day - hot, 80s, sunny, clear blue skies ... but then there was the plume of smoke rising from where the towers had been.

when i finally got home that afternoon around 4p, i had never been so happy to be there. we were without phones for awhile and the smoke was still billowing for a few days afterwards. i remember wanting to be around people - any people. i remember wanting to build as big of a community as i could. somehow i felt that it would make it all ok.

i had left nyc by the 1st anniversary. i don't think i could have stayed much longer than i did. but every year on this day, i get sad all over again. i remember the fear i felt that day and still feel ... but now i'm not scared of the events of that day (nor of the people that perpetrated them). i'm afraid of people forgetting the sense of unity we felt after that and letting the politicians continue to drive wedges between people for their own gains. it's so hard to remember the good that came out of that day when we keep hearing "the terrorists are gonna get us", "either you're with us or against us", "the war is making us safer", "you hate america because you're against the war". you're damn right i'm against the war. it's not the one we should be fighting.

thomas jefferson once said: "the spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occassions, that i wish it to be always kept alive. it will often be exercised when wrong, but better so than not to be exercised at all. i like a little rebellion now and then."

so today i hope that we can all spark a little rebellion and stand up for what america really stands for and honor the true spirit of the day ... unity with diversity.

so today i'm thankful for . . . the fact that i survived that day as did all my immediate friends/family

weekend report . . .

had a crazy weekend but it was good. after my quiet friday night on the couch, saturday was a whirlwind. had a hair appt then met up with c for a wine tasting then headed over to the muddy boot festival to hang out with h and ran into some former co-workers and another lacrosse coach. got a call from sarah that she & her girl were going out and i should meet up with them so i did. we had a chill night downtown and ended up hitting a few different places before heading home around 130p.

sunday was planned to be a day of cleaning and getting the house ready for the family. as i sat in my backyard performing my usual sunday morning routine (breakfast & coffee outside while calling the fam), i got a call from star. she was calling to see if i wanted to hang out and go for a walk or something. it sounded like a great idea since i was completely unmotivated for my chores and i hadn't seen her in over a week. i got dressed and was off to pick her up. we ran a few errands and ended up down on hawthorne doing a bit of window shopping. was a nice couple of hours to just hang out and spend some 1:1 time. not sure how many more chances for that we'll have before she goes. (departure date is 2 weeks from today)

after hanging out with star, i stopped by anunce & mfp's place to pick some tomatoes from their garden and ended up at the florida room for a late lunch/brunch (ok, it was 3p but pancakes and a bloody mary still sounded good). got home around 4p and started cleaning up the yard and vacuumed the whole house. headed out to pop tart around 730 to meet up with star and her friends as well as my friend, geah, who was making her first appearance. had fun hanging out with folks and then the music kicked up and i couldn't keep still! ended up dancing with a very cool woman most of the night. was great to hear some mash up by some great dj's.

today i'm thankful for . . . unexpected fun and great music

calm and quiet . . .

been a quiet couple of days around the campfire. literally. been working from home, not really communicating with many folks as the wires seem to have gone quiet, not going out much . . . it's a friday night and i'm comfortably ensconced on my couch after a great dinner with jg. he was here getting the yard ready for the family visit when i got home from setting up my desk at my new office. we made some grilled vegetable pasta and salad and ate dinner outside. he was off with osha to a yemaya gathering. i opted out and am watching "what not to wear".

have a fun day planned tomorrow. will be doing the farmer's market in the am, a hair cut in the afternoon, then off to the muddy boots organic festival to see my friend who works for sequential biofuels, will be meeting c for a wine tasting at vino vixens, then off to see a co-worker's band at the hempstalk festival at sellwood park. who knows where i'll end up after that.

sunday i'm due to meet a friend, geah, and go dancing at tart. should be fun. star says she's not going. guess i should start getting used to not seeing her out. can't believe she's leaving so soon. i'm gonna miss her. just getting to know her has been a blessing. she's very cool.

today i'm thankful for . . . friends both new and old.

what a beautiful day . . .

worked from home today due to the office move. i slept in a bit and logged on to work around 830a (think i was still recovering from the hangover). brought my laptop outside to check mail while i ate breakfast and drank my coffee. it was a little chilly this am so i didn't expect to be outside all day but here i am at 515p still in the same spot i was in at 830a. the weather improved and now it's a comfy 73 and the sun is out and i can't seem to need to move.

tonight starts the football madness that tends to take over my life in the fall. will be making the first pilgrimage to luscious and the good doctor's house in about an hour for kick-off. will be a bit odd to watch football over there as it used to be my house. wonder how the pudge will react to being in the old house. it'll be her first time over since we moved. every time i've been over has been a bit odd. so weird to see how others change a place you used to live in (for 5 yrs no less). i'm so glad that they have the old girl now but still an odd sensation to walk into that house. i'm sure it's the same for them here.

well, it's shaping up to be another crazy weekend. have a hair appt, going to do a wine tasting with c, must clean the house before the fam gets here and have a few *dates* with various friends throughout the weekend. should be fun. hope it's chill ... i don't think i can handle another weekend like last one.

so today i'm thankful for . . . a comfy backyard and a nice day to work outside all day

now off to make myself some dinner.

it's official . . .

i'm single again. yesterday i went to the county office to terminate the domestic partnership. feels good to have that taken care of. met up with anunce at the florida room for a few cocktails around 630p - which turned into a drinking marathon until 130a. was so hungover this am. just talked to her and she says her liver feels like it's about to explode. i know the feeling.

had to make the cursory stop at burgerville for some grease and a fountain soda. that's always the key hangover helper. just add water and 2 tylenol and you're felling human again in no time. been awhile since i'd tied one on like that. but it seemed appropriate given the circumstances.

was definitely a sad day. not one that i thought would come all those years ago when we entered into the partnership and exchanged rings. i really thought this was the one. just goes to show that you never really know what's gonna happen from one day to the next so you should just enjoy the ride. have fun. enjoy the people around you in every way. and pay attention so you don't miss the big picture while working out the details.

so today i'm thankful for . . . closure

moving . . .

so tomorrow's is my company's last day in our current offices. thursday and friday all employees are being sent home to work while the movers move our stuff into our new offices. granted, the new offices are in a much better location and will likely not be prone to as many water leaks but it's still a pain to pack up your office and move it. the new office will be an adjustment for all as only a few executives will actually have offices. the rest of us will be in cubicles with most of us sharing spaces. gonna take some getting used to. i'll be sharing a space with my immediate supervisor who will only be working in that office a few days a week after december.

so today i'm thankful for . . . the ability to work from home - which is what i did this afternoon.

outdoor kitchen - stage 2

so i spent the long weekend basically working on the outdoor kitchen. while i didn't get as much done as i would have liked, i did get quite a bit accomplished. as you can see the base and 3 walls of the cabinet are up. while wrapping up and sitting in the backyard with a beer looking at my work, i realized i had a major design flaw that would need to be addressed before i could move forward. see if i build the cabinet as originally designed, it will end up with a counter height of 42". see, i'm short so that would put the sink at about shoulder height for me so i'll have to go to plan b.

plan b involves doing a two-level counter top. the corner closest to the house will stay at it's planned height to account for the height of the kegerator, but i'll drop the remainder of the cabinet down to be an overall height of approximately 32" (which is fairly standard for a counter). will mean a bit more modification and will likely mean that the cabinet won't be done by the time my folks are here but you live and learn, right? right. i could have avoided some of this had i sunk the concrete pad to the grade of the patio but it didn't seem necessary at the time so i'll have to adjust with the actual cabinet. i think it'll still look good but will be a bit more tedious to assemble. so hopefully i can get more done this weekend but i won't kill myself trying to finish before the fam gets here. they'll just have to deal with pictures when it's done. i think cleaning the house for their arrival is a more appropriate use of my limited time until then.

i'm beat ... gonna go take a soak and fall into bed.

so today i'm thankful for . . . my hot tub

long weekends . . .

today i'm thankful for . . . good friends

i know i've been thankful for them before but i could say that every day and absolutely mean it. this weekend has been full of good friends and i'm so grateful for my *crew* - all the different facets of it.

the weekend started with an amazing show by rodrigo y gabriela at the oregon zoo. if you don't know who these guys are ... go look 'em up. better yet, get to a show! just do it! trust me, you'll never be the same again. if someone told you that two mexican kids that used to play heavy metal then moved to ireland and all they play are acoustic guitars, you look at them and laugh. i understand. it's exactly what i did the first time someone told me about them. then i saw them and it was all over. amazing! it's the only word i have for it. what a way to start the holiday weekend.

saturday was spent with the masses at lowe's (returning unused concrete), home depot (buying the mini-fridge for the kitchen project), and the rebuilding center (looking for a used cabinet i could modify so i didn't have build from scratch - more on that later). i was successful in all places albeit unexpectedly at the rebuilding center. i didn't find a cabinet to modify but i did find a used sink and faucet for $10 - score! got home with the loot and then met up with abs to work on the evite for anunce's 40th bday party. ended up at the eroom with star and jenmc. it was the fob after-party and the place was *packed*! music was great and i danced for hours. was a great time. my friend kim even came for a bit despite her aversion to lesbians - never mind that she *is* one! ;-)

got up this morning at 10a despite going to bed at 4a - no good reason really. just got home and couldn't sleep so i started to watch a movie i'd tivo'ed. got moving around 11a when my boss came over to borrow some boxes for her move. sucks to have to interact with the boss after a night out and little sleep. met up with a friend for coffee at fuel cafe and then headed back to lowe's with c to buy the lumber for the outdoor kitchen. i wasn't able to find a cabinet to modify so i'm going to have to *build* one from scratch. oh, well. i tried. at least i found a used sink & faucet!

there were several bbq's being hosted this evening due to the long weekend. i made it to one - never quite made it to the other one. it was way across town so it was just too far to drive after a cocktail or two. was fun to hang out in the backyard on a beautiful summer night. the stars were out. it was quiet. home by 10 and am now hanging with the dogs on the couch. yes, multiple dogs. i'm dog-sitting this weekend for z and dk's dogs. they went camping to the coast for the weekend and always take suki when i travel so i have their 3 for the long weekend. crazy to have 4 dogs in the house. they're great and it's nice to be *surrounded* by snuggling dogs.

tomorrow i hope to actually build the cabinet. i now have all the materials and tools i need so i really have no excuse *not* to do the work. just got a call from jg - he's gonna come help me in the morning cut the lumber and then i can just build in the afternoon. shouldn't be too hard. it's going to be a simple cabinet - no drawers and just one door in the middle. i'm excited to finally have this thing done. will need to go back to the old house tomorrow and pick up the black granite i haven't picked up yet so i can use that on the countertop of the outdoor kitchen. i think it's going to be the best bet given the cost ne. so w (as in, i've already spent almost $500 on this thing. i've really don't want to spend a fortune more on a countertop. so whatever i choose has to be *cheap*.).

also tomorrow luscious, the former owner of this house and good friend of mine, is coming over to help me work out the plumbing and my friend sarah will be coming by to help me work out the electrical. i've decided to make this a full fancy outdoor kitchen. i even got a recommendation for a place just 3 blocks up the road that will make my awning that will cover the kitchen when it's done. i'm getting very excited to have this done. i know that time is limited for how much longer i'll be able to use it this year. but i know i'll be so grateful for it next summer when i'm remodeling the kitchen. after living through lea & finn's kitchen remodel, i understand how important it is to live without a real sink and fridge.

i couldn't have made it through weekend (and i still haven't) without my friends. nor would i have wanted to. i am so fortunate to have good friends. from the ones that i can hang with at the zoo for a great outdoor concert to the ones that will go to lowe's on a holiday weekend to help me haul lumber to the ones that host bbqs and just want to hang out to the ones that want to dance the night away. i'm so so blessed.