02 October 2007

hibernation . . .

as an only child and a pisces, a part of me always feels the need to step back occasionally and hibernate. now, anyone that knows me knows that i'm an incredibly social person so they might find it hard to believe that even i get overwhelmed by people (no matter how much i care for them) sometimes. i have been outwardly focused for the last few weeks – for several reasons (my folks' visit, meeting and getting to know mac, work, etc). it became pretty obvious last night that i really needed to take a step back and check in with myself and see where i am with all the emotions running through me at the moment.

have had a fairly solitary and quiet day. woke up this am and didn't even turn on opb. i wanted to sit with the silence. while i didn't sit on the mat, i did sit with my thoughts as i showered and got ready for the day ahead. didn't make my usual cup of coffee at home as i wanted to just sit with myself for as long as i didn't have to *interact* with anyone (which meant basically all the way to work). i sat on the bus and listened to some comforting music and realized it was the longest i hadn't spoken in at least a few days. i sat with that for a long while and enjoyed not having to speak while taking in my surroundings and checking in with my body and mind.

after such an emotionally charged weekend, i was feeling a bit out of touch with myself. and i know it sounds crazy to say i meditated on the bus, it works for me. i am one of those people that can take a book into a loud restaurant, get a table for one and devour my reading material while i enjoy a great meal. all the while, the hustle & bustle could go on around me and i'd be oblivious. it's the joy and pain of being a pisces sometimes.

the weather has changed here for sure and i can only surmise that the cold and rain are adding to my desire to hunker down and hibernate in my cozy home with a warm dog on my lap. i have started to pull out my winter wardrobe and *nest* again like i did when i first moved in last spring. getting the house in order is a way of checking in with myself and assuring that my safe haven is, in fact, a comfortable space in which i can relax and recharge.

have been talking to my friend who's a color consultant again and hope to schedule some time for her to come over and help me pick out my paint schemes. i am anxious to add my special touches to this great house and make it feel even more homey. i plan to be here for a long while and so i might as well make it mine.

so today i'm thankful for . . . the changing seasons that make us return to our roots and re-examine our priorities.

No comments: