calm in the eye of the storm . . .

a peace has fallen over me in the last few days. a part of me has realized that i am finally comfortable with the fluctuations of my life. i have always been one to be rigid about how things are *supposed* to be. i am learning to embrace the uncertainty of life and to enjoy the surprises that get thrown at me by the universe. this whole weekend has been one full of little surprises. friday we had one of our monthly long-ass meetings that the whole company should attend. we usually drink heavily afterwards due to the fact that we've all been sitting in a windowless room for 5 hrs and listening to the oratories put forth my many members of our organization. blech! we have 2 new staff members that needed to be indoctrinated in our post-func tradition! had a few cocktails then headed home. on the way home, i got a call from jg. we made plans for a meeting that evening about some yard work and some hangout time. he was sweet enough to bring dinner over. we had a lovely evening of lounging by the fire in the backyard and drinking while we discussed the yard work and what should be done first. we hopped in the hot tub later in the evening to cap off the evening. was like old times when we'd end up hanging out for hours on some odd evening that he'd shuffle across the street in his slippers with the cordless phone. it was great to just have a quiet evening at home with a good friend.

saturday morning i got an early start and ran out to do some errands. had to pick up my new pants at the tailor, pick up a package at the post office, and go pick up a 1/2 barrel of lost coast great white i'd reserved a week prior. i went to the farmer's market with uma and ran into a friend i hadn't seen in awhile. we exchanged numbers and made a plan to hang out. it's nice to run into people from your community and reconnect. i had plans to go see storm & the balls play the wonder ballroom with some folks i was introduced to by an old friend from grad school in athens. it was their last show together for awhile. great to see a local band do so well and draw such a crowd. had 2 opening acts before the main event. one of them was fronted by an amazing female performer. the band was kleveland and the lead singer was named stephanie. she was so incredibly sexy and fierce. was a fantastic set and i'll definitely see them again.

headed over to outlaws to meet up with star and jenmc who had been to the rose city rollers (our local roller derby team) match that night and were at the after-party. it was lame there and we all wanted to dance. star got a call about a house party back in my 'hood so we headed there. it was fine but we didn't know many folks so we decided that we had time to make it to the eroom for a bit of dancing before they called last call. the music was good and it was fun to dance. was good to blow off steam. turned into a late night but well worth the loss of sleep.

today was productive but still a bit spontaneous. i spent some time planning the outdoor kitchen. drew up the plans and started a materials list. it's exciting to get planning on it. i really want to finish this project before my folks come in september. i've got a month to do so. i think i can get it done. keeping busy will keep me out of trouble. ;-) got a call from sarah and went shopping with her. bought a cool new shirt and flirted with a cute sales girl. might have to shop at diesel more often. went over to a bbq with a few of the sunday night girls then over to the bonfire to meet up with some friends for a quick cocktail. got home a bit ago and am chilling on the couch before heading off to bed.

has been a weekend of pleasant surprises and unplanned fun. it sounds like i haven't stopped in weeks (and i really haven't) but i feel remarkably calm despite all the activity. i think i'm starting to hit my groove and be comfortable with what my life is like now. i am active and that's ok because i like it. the lack of sleep is worth the friendships i'm cultivating and the experiences i've missed out on for the last 8 yrs. i am constantly surprised by the new people that have become such a part of my life in the last 7 mos. some are brand new like star & sweets while others i knew before but hadn't really spent a lot of quality time together like sarah. my life is so full of wonderful experiences and fantastic people and i feel blessed. i feel so much love and joy and am so content that even on my worst days i can still find something in my life to smile about. sometimes it's my dog and the way she's snoring on the couch next to me. sometimes it's a txt message from a new friend asking how i'm doing. or it's having a conversation with a new friend and just instantly *getting* each other. i am excited about what the future holds for the first time in a very long time. at the same time, i'm not tied to any particular future as long as i can find contentment. i used to live life by the book ... all planned out. now i just need to be sure to put some safeguards in place and then i'll be able let myself take some chances. i'm scared and excited all at the same time.